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entering recovery: lori fallon

Entering Recovery: Lori’s Story

Why can’t you put the bottle down, stop drinking, and take care of your responsibilities?

Growing up, that’s what Lori Fallon remembers thinking about two of her family members who suffered heavily from alcoholism. At the time, she just could never understand how a bottle of alcohol could control someone’s life.

It wasn’t until the Coatesville native was working through her recovery that she realized that she, too, had used alcohol as a coping mechanism growing up. The first time she experienced being intoxicated was in the tenth grade. She remembers the feeling well.

“It gave me empowerment,” she said. “I felt free. I had wings. I could do and talk and be this person I always wanted to be.”

Looking back, she said that while she had the quintessential American childhood, she often felt left out and was never a part of any particular group. This feeling of isolation fueled her drinking and, later, her drug use.

The Transition to Addiction

As Lori grew older, alcohol seemed to follow her through the different stages of her life. She never saw it as an addiction, yet there were signs. For example, as a young adult, she frequently had trouble making it into work after a night out with friends. She just chalked it up to being young and outgoing.

Later on, she married an alcoholic. While the two lived an incredible life together, the alcoholism made him irresponsible and unreliable. She didn’t see it as an addiction. She just couldn’t understand why he didn’t stop drinking.

By all appearances, Lori was a success story. She was married, young, and running a successful answering service company, which she owned. It was a 24-hour-a-day, 7 day-a-week job, but she had the energy. When she needed more, she began recreationally using cocaine.

Eventually, she left her marriage and entered into a new relationship with another successful business owner. Among their bonds: owning their own companies and getting high together.

“We bought a house together,” she said. “We traveled. We had new cars. We had motorcycles and Corvettes. I had fur coats and diamonds. We had a great life—we were kind of the envy of people, but …” She paused for a moment, reflecting.

“He’s the one who introduced me to crack,” she said, “and it just completely took over our lives.”

Once crack took hold of her, Lori’s addictive tendencies began to emerge.

“I was stealing money from his company to feed our crack addiction,” she said. “He threw me out of the house, and I had to sign away half of it.”

Once she was out on her own with no one to answer to, her addiction began to run wild. She entered the drug community where she was given the nickname “white chocolate.” She was notorious for doing just about anything to get drugs.

Although she still owned her business, she was using employee paychecks to fuel her dependency. Inevitably, the bank foreclosed on her property, no one wanted to work for her, and she was out on the streets. Then, she wound up in jail—several times.

The Breaking Point

While in jail, Lori’s house entered foreclosure, and her significant other died of an overdose. She still hadn’t hit the breaking point, but she knew something had to change.

When she got out of jail the final time, she entered an intensive outpatient program in Philadelphia. Even with all the help, she still had trouble staying clean.

“I did all the things we do to get one more,” she said. “I was glad to be there, though, because I was homeless before, sleeping on someone’s front porch under a dirty mattress. I didn’t even know who lived there. I had the clothes on my back. I remember it was snowing, and I had a pair of flip flops to wear.”

In the meantime, people from her home town were trying to get her to start using regularly again. It was then that something clicked inside. Lori realized there was nothing there for her anymore. She had to move on. That’s when she chose The GateHouse.

Choosing Treatment

Even after all her problems, Lori still didn’t see her addiction as a disease. Nevertheless, she was happy to be getting treatment. At The GateHouse, she found meaning and purpose. She began to work at it, and she began to truly recover. Life for Lori began to improve.

The next step for her was becoming a productive, contributing member of society. That meant finding a job. Going back to entrepreneurship was not even a temptation for her.

“Technology had taken over the answering service industry,” she said. “But I really didn’t want to carry the burden of being a business owner anymore. It just didn’t appeal to me.”

She found and took a position on the production floor at Nissin Foods.

“I was empowered,” she said. “It was my first paycheck in years, and I was able to pay rent and pay for my bus ticket. On Fridays, I treated myself to a Turkey Hill hotdog, an iced tea, and a bag of chips!”

Life in Recovery

One day, not long after leaving treatment, she discovered The GateHouse was hiring.

“They had a job opening for a part-time recovery specialist,” she said. “I applied for the job and got it.”

From there, she became a House Manager for The GateHouse for Women in Mountville, Pa. She then moved on to GateHouse Transitional Living, where she eventually landed in her current position of Program Coordinator.

For Lori, The GateHouse is more than a recovery residence.

“The GateHouse truly saved my life,” she said. “On a daily basis I would doubt myself, but The GateHouse is still empowering me to be the best woman I can be to this day. They paid attention to me and made me feel special. They never put anyone on a back burner.”

In her role as Program Coordinator, Lori carries that message to others.

“I have a gift that was given to me, and my job is to embrace that gift and nurture it,” she said. “I have the privilege of sharing my experience, strength, and hope with newly recovering addicts, and if I can help one person it’s a successful day.”

During this year’s Extraordinary Give, please join us in ‘Giving Extra’ to our community members as they embark on their journey to recovery and healthy, meaningful lives.

To learn more about Lori’s story and to hear her tell it in her own words, please watch this compelling video:

gatehouse.org

Welcome to the NEW The GateHouse website!

Today, we proudly announce our newly redesigned website, GateHouse.org, the online home of The GateHouse. The site’s new look is just one part of the overall shift toward providing more great content for the recovery community.

Check out these great new features:

More Intuitive Navigation
This cleaner, more attractive design allows for easier navigation around the site, so you can get where you want to go faster—and with fewer clicks.
Faster and Mobile Friendly
Speaking of faster—no more waiting for content to load and no more pinching and zooming or turning your mobile device to read content. The new website offers a much speedier response time when navigating to the pages you most want to see, and the interface works well on all devices and operating systems.
Enhanced Content
Interested in learning more about The GateHouse? Check out Our History for a timeline of our key moments. Want to know more about client outcomes? Visit our “Why The GateHouse” page. Have questions? We’ve got answers under our FAQs

These are just a few of the new pages you’ll find at GateHouse.org. Check out Our Services for information about the help we provide or visit the Our Facilities page to learn more about the approach we take to addressing each individual’s unique needs.

We’ve also been building our blog with inspirational and insightful content. Here you’ll find stories of real people in Lancaster County who have experienced addiction themselves or are working to battle it on the front lines. We also offer tips, solutions, and encouragement to help you grow as a person and live your very best life in recovery.

“We take our mission of restoring the human spirit through recovery very seriously, and we see our website as an extension of that mission,” said Jodi Holland, executive director of The GateHouse. “While our primary purpose is to walk beside people who are in the long-term recovery process using our programs and residential facilities, we also recognize the need for a greater understanding of the disease of addiction. I believe the redesign of our website, and our commitment to providing useful, actionable content on its pages, will help people find the answers they’re looking for.”

Lancaster County Drug and Alcohol Commission

Addiction Through the Eyes of the Lancaster County Drug and Alcohol Commission

Over the next few months, The GateHouse will be taking a look at the opioid crisis from the perspective of the public officials who are working to eradicate it through funding, public awareness, and education. We kick the series off with an interview with Rick Kastner, executive director of the Lancaster County Drug and Alcohol Commission.

In his 38 years with the Lancaster County Drug and Alcohol Commission, Rick Kastner thought he had seen it all.

Kastner, who has served as the organization’s executive director for more than three decades, said he has never witnessed anything like the opioid epidemic currently gripping the nation and the Lancaster County community.

“What makes the opioid epidemic unique compared to all others that I’ve been involved with is the number of overdose deaths, not only in Lancaster, but at the state and national levels,” he said. “That’s caught a lot of people’s attention—the fact that a person could be experimenting with an opioid one time in their entire life and then suddenly they’re dead.”

It’s also significant, Kastner said, that the epidemic has reached into the suburbs, killing scores of younger people who challenge the stereotypes typically associated with drug addiction. In 2017, 168 died by overdose in Lancaster County alone.

“Luckily, we have those numbers down to about 105 overdose deaths in Lancaster in 2018, so we’re making progress,” Kastner said. “We have a lot more financial resources available to combat the problem, and a lot more people are involved in trying to address the epidemic and turn it around.”

For Kastner, the attention is unprecedented.

“It is by far the most attention the drug and alcohol field has received in the 38 years that I’ve been with the office,” he said. “We’ve got a lot more people working on the effort, and we’ve got a lot of additional resources that we just didn’t have before.”

In fact, the Lancaster County Drug and Alcohol Commission is one of those resources. For those unfamiliar with the role the commission plays in battling addiction in Lancaster County—it is significant.

“The Lancaster County Drug and Alcohol Commission is the county department that receives funding from the state and the federal governments to manage, oversee, develop, and pay for drug and alcohol treatments, education, prevention, and intervention services in the county,” Kastner said. “People who are not eligible for Medicaid, but are low-income, that’s typically where the treatment funding from my office is involved. We pay for treatment, pay for drug and alcohol prevention education programs, we help develop programs, we evaluate them, we monitor them, and we oversee the system here in Lancaster.”

Organizations like The GateHouse play a pivotal role in helping the commission fulfill its mission of providing access to low-income and uninsured addicts seeking help.

“They’re part of our provider network,” Kastner said of The GateHouse. “We’ve been contracting with them for probably 40 years. We—and other providers in our network—refer clients to The GateHouse, and if they’re approved, then many times my office pays for them. Of course, we always try to utilize Medicaid funding first, because there are a lot more Medicaid dollars available, but for those Lancaster residents who are not eligible for Medicaid but are low income, then my office pays for the treatment at The GateHouse.”

That treatment is more important than ever. Kastner says what he’s seeing now from the public is a much different response than what he’s seen from previous epidemics, such as the crack cocaine crisis of the late 1980s and early 1990s.

“I think the opioid epidemic has a lot more people involved,” he said. “The governor himself declared the opioid crisis an epidemic a while ago, and has a task force at work in Harrisburg, at the emergency management building on a regular basis. He declared it an epidemic or a catastrophe like he would, for example, if there had been a devastating hurricane or tornado. I see a lot more people in the last 3 or 4 years being involved with addressing the opioid epidemic than I’ve seen in the other epidemics like the crack cocaine crisis.”

Kastner does worry, however, that all the focus on opioids may shrink awareness of other drug issues facing the community.

“There’s a lot of people in our field, both in Lancaster and statewide, who are seeing an increase in K2 and methamphetamine addictions,” Kastner said. “We have a lot of resources earmarked specifically for opioid addictions—and some of our funding can only be used for primary opioid abuse disorder—so there is a concern that with strings attached to some of our funding streams and grants that we’ve got a lot of people out there addicted to other substances, including alcohol, that could be left out or hindered by the focus on opioid addictions.”

And these drugs have their own unique problems as their pool of users continues to grow.

“With K2 and methamphetamine, specifically, the biggest problem is that a lot of times they will create behavior in a person that mimic the behaviors of someone with a severe mental illness,” Kastner said. “The treatment facilities are not set up to deal with someone so out of control that they have no place to put them until they detox to a point where they’re no longer exhibiting psychotic behavior. So, typically, the only place that can control a person like that is either the prisons or an involuntary mental health facility. The drug and alcohol field to some degree cannot handle some of the behaviors we’re seeing with K2 and methamphetamine.”

There is, however, a lot of positive momentum that has come from the increased awareness from new segments of society.

“We have a lot more people understanding the disease of addiction,” Kastner said. “We have a lot of people out there who have lost their children and their spouses. People coming from good families and realizing that it’s not just a problem relegated to the homeless population. I think the public and the community are seeing that there is a stigma involved with addiction, that it is an uncontrollable disease that needs to be addressed with treatment, resources, and recovery programs. I’ve never seen that before. I think we’ve taken some great steps.”

As heartbreaking as it is to see people suffering with addiction, Kastner said it’s been eye-opening to see a renewed interest in the work the commission is doing.

“For 30+ years we were quietly just doing our thing and working with clients to get them into recovery programs,” he said. “There were a lot of people out there who individually knew the great work we were doing and what this field was all about, but the general public did not. From that standpoint, it does feel that we’re being validated more and accepted.”

There is still much more work to do, though, Kastner said.

“A lot of folks know some really fantastic people who have lost their lives to an overdose or who have been controlled by an opioid addiction,” he said. “A lot of them were innocent people who were simply taking their pain medication prescribed by a physician. I don’t think anybody realized for about 15-20 years that using long-term strong opioid pain medications was going to create thousands of addicts and that they’d eventually turn to street heroin and then suddenly die. It really is a tragedy.”

If you or someone you know is suffering from addiction and needs help, contact The GateHouse for information on the services we provide or give us a call at 717-393-3215. Our goal is to restore the human spirit through recovery by offering in-patient and outpatient services that treat the whole person, not just the disease.

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One Couple’s Battle to Raise Awareness to Recovery Aftercare with Ice Hockey

The pain never goes away.

“It really doesn’t,” said Rob Barclay, father of Robby Barclay, who passed away by overdose on Dec. 17, 2017. “I know guys deal with things differently, we process things differently, but my wife is still really, really struggling with it. I am, too.”

To honor their son, Ann and Rob Barclay are working with the non-profit group, The Leafs Hockey Community Action, of which Rob has been a member for decades. Together, they’re sponsoring the Robby Barclay Memorial Ice Hockey Tournament on April 5 and 6 at Lancaster Ice Rink. Doors open at 6:30 p.m. on the 5^th and again at 8 a.m. on the 6^th. Donations collected at the tournament will go to The GateHouse to help the recovering men and women the non-profit organization serves.

Robby never attended The GateHouse or utilized any of its programs, even though the Barclays wish he had.

“By the time we found out about The GateHouse, it was already too late,” Rob said. “Robby had already passed away. That’s why we chose The GateHouse. For what they do.”

The Barclays were very involved in Robby’s life and fought his addiction as best they could.

“We had him in several different rehabs throughout his life,” Rob said. “But we could never find any aftercare—something to get him ready to go back into society and learn how to make the right choices. It was just a struggle.”

By raising awareness to The GateHouse through the memorial ice hockey tournament, the Barclays hope their son will not have died in vain.

“We really hope this helps somebody else,” Rob said. “Robby would have been 30 on March 19.”

Although he battled addiction for the last 10 or 12 years of his life, Rob said Robby was once a youngster who loved ice hockey.

“He played ice hockey from the time he was 5 years old until he was in high school,” Rob said. “He went to Ephrata High School, but he never graduated. He got his GED when he was about 20.”

Before the addiction took hold, Robby was a good brother to his younger sister, Katie.

“They were real close,” Rob said. “Robby was her guardian when they were growing up.”

The addiction began with marijuana, then graduated to pills—“I’m not even sure what they were,” Rob said—but eventually, Robby turned to heroin and his descent began.

“It was just that he got in with the wrong crowd,” Rob said. “We started seeing signs of him going the wrong way, and it just got out of hand.”

Rob said he and his wife hope the ice hockey tournament raises awareness to The GateHouse and helps others who may be facing similar problems.

“It’s a tribute to Robby, but I know several other kids who actually played on the same hockey teams as he did—they also are gone now,” Rob said. “It’s horrible. It’s sad to look at a picture of these kids when they were young and have to say, “Well, he’s no longer with us, and he’s no longer with us, and he’s gone, too. It’s tough.”

MORE INFO:

WHO: The general public

WHAT: The Robby Barclay Memorial Ice Hockey Tournament

WHEN: April 5 at 6:30 p.m. and April 6 at 8 a.m.

WHERE: Lancaster Ice Rink, 371 Carrera Drive, Lancaster, PA 17601

WHY: To celebrate Robby’s life and raise awareness to the services offered by The GateHouse

COST: FREE (donations benefitting The GateHouse will be accepted)

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20 Inspirational Quotes About Recovery

Whether you’ve been in recovery for a long time or you’re just beginning your journey, it can be difficult to stay motivated and continue working toward lifelong recovery. Here’s a list of inspirational quotes to help you keep a positive mindset and stay on track with your goals.

“You were never created to live depressed, defeated, guilty, condemned, ashamed or unworthy. You were created to be victorious.” – Joel Osteen

“If things go wrong, don’t go with them.” – Roger Babson

“The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.” – Ernest Hemingway

“We honor ourselves when we speak out for recovery. We show the world that recovery matters because it brings hope and peace into the lives of individuals and their loved ones.” – Beth Wilson

“It’s gonna get harder before it gets easier. But it will get better, you just gotta make it through the hard stuff first.” – Anonymous

“Tomorrow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It’s perfect when it arrives, and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we’ve learned something from yesterday.” – John Wayne

“Change must start from the individual. And the individual must want and feel ready to make such change.” – Efrat Cybulkiewicz

“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them — every day begin the task anew.” –Saint Francis De Sales

“They tell you how it’ll all get better and better as you abstain and recover: they somehow omit to mention that the way it gets better and you get better is through pain. Not around pain, or in spite of it.” – David Foster Wallace

“Recovery is something that you have to work on every single day and it’s something that doesn’t get a day off.” – Demi Lovato

“Though no one can go back and make a brand-new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand-new ending.” – Carl Bard

“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.” – C.S. Lewis

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

“Sometimes we motivate ourselves by thinking of what we want to become. Sometimes we motivate ourselves by thinking about who we don’t ever want to be again.” – Shane Niemeyer

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.” – Mahatma Ghandi

“If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime.” –Benjamin Alire Sáenz

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’” –Mary Anne Radmacher

“Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swamps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists. It is real. It is possible. It’s yours.” – Ayn Rand

“Recovery is hard. Regret is harder.” – Brittany Burgunder

“Addiction begins with the hope that something ‘out there’ can instantly fill up the emptiness inside.” –Jean Kilbourne

The bottom line of all these quotes? You’re the writer of your own story and you have the strength to make it anything you want.

If you’re looking for a way to get help, reach out to us. Our mission is “Restoring the Human Spirit through Recovery.”

General

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How to Stick to Your Recovery Resolutions This Year

Resolutions tend to fall by the wayside pretty quickly into the new year, which is why it’s so important to set detailed goals and have a well-thought-out plan for how to accomplish them. Here are five recovery resolutions that you can make in the new year.

1. Set Boundaries and Remove Toxicity

In our Staying Healthy in Recovery series, we discussed in great depth how setting healthy boundaries and removing toxic people from your everyday life can be extremely beneficial in recovery. In the new year, make it a point to set physical, mental, and emotional boundaries with the people in your life. Let your loved ones know about these boundaries and that you’re going to be firm with them in order to pursue a healthy, happy life free of addiction.

A new year is also the perfect time to take an inventory of everyone in your circle and see if your relationship with them is equal. Toxic people can easily bring you down and put you in situations that can be harmful to your recovery. This year, take a close look at the people who are supportive of your recovery, and cut out people who aren’t.

2. Find Healthy Alternatives to Stay Busy

If you’re early on in your recovery, you may still feel the void that addiction once filled in your life. In the new year, take the time to discover new, beneficial ways to spend your time. This could mean picking up boxing, learning how to cook homemade meals, taking a pottery class, or any other number of hobbies that can keep you busy and give your brain a productive way to pass the time. Learning new things is a rewarding experience that gives you a reason to take pride in yourself.

3. Communicate Better

Communication is the key to every successful relationship and improving it with those you care about should always be the goal. Opening up about your struggles to the people who are close to you will help lessen the burden on yourself and give them an opportunity to help you through it. However, this only works if you can communicate your struggles to them. Throughout the year, work on sharing with your loved ones both the victories and the disappointments you’re going through, and allow them to help, comfort, and celebrate with you.

4. Properly Manage Stress

Stressful situations are one of the main reasons people relapse, so maintaining a tight grip on the causes of your stress and stockpiling an arsenal of healthy coping mechanisms is imperative to recovery. This year, work on identifying and acknowledging the cause of your stress. Whether you do that on your own or with a counselor, finding the root cause of your issues is the first step in figuring out how to weaken them.

After recognizing your stressors, actively work on either avoiding them or finding healthy coping mechanisms. Share your hardships with your loved ones, try meditation or breathing exercises to clear your mind, exercise regularly, take steps to alleviate the issues before they pile up on you. There are many healthy and productive ways to alleviate your stress. Try different techniques and figure out what works best for you and your lifestyle.

5. Attend Meetings and Work Toward Completing the Steps

People often stop attending their meetings and working toward completing the steps on their own when they believe they’re in control of their recovery. Regularly missing meetings can lead to a host of issues—including relapse—and sometimes the consequences will include the loss of a great support system right when you need it most. This year, make it a point to attend at least one meeting a week and constantly work on completing the 12 steps of recovery. Recovery is a lifelong endeavor and having a goal and a solid support system of people who have gone through similar situations is imperative.

Recovery resolutions don’t have to be put in place on January 1st. Recovery is a lifestyle, and you can start anew and focus on new goals at any time of the year. The new year is a great time, however, to take stock of your life, reexamine your goals and aspirations, and recalibrate your behaviors to make sure you’re reaching them.

If you need help sticking to your recovery resolutions this year, get in touch with us. We would love to help you overcome your addiction and encourage you to live a healthy and joyful life in long-term recovery.

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What Goes into a Drug and Alcohol Assessment at The GateHouse?

Entering treatment can seem like a vast and mysterious process, which is why we’re here to break it down for you. We want you to feel confident and knowledgeable when it comes to your treatment plan and overall health.

Here’s what you can expect when you come to The GateHouse for an initial assessment.

Why do you need an initial assessment?

Everyone who comes to us for their initial assessment comes in under different circumstances. Some may get an assessment before finding an inpatient program, or some may need an initial drug and alcohol assessment for legal reasons. No matter what your reason for needing an assessment, you’ll generally follow the same timeline of events.

What can you expect during an initial assessment?

When you arrive for your initial assessment, you’ll complete three steps during your visit.

Step 1: Paperwork

Once you arrive at the facility, you‘ll start by filling out county funding paperwork for your records. Prior to the session, you may also be asked to bring in your income information to apply for funding.

Step 2: Assessment

After completing the necessary paperwork, we’ll begin the assessment session. During the session, we’ll conduct a biopsychosocial assessment to help determine what level of care meets your needs. Throughout the session, we’ll gather your complete family history, lifestyle information, history of drug and alcohol use, and what brought you into treatment.

Step 3: Determination of care

Following the assessment, we’ll compare what we learned during the session to the American Society of Addiction Medicine (ASAM) criteria to determine the best level of care for your needs. ASAM criteria looks at the following circumstances:

Your recovery environment
Biomedical conditions
Withdrawal potential
Emotional and behavioral considerations
Your readiness to change

The levels of care are:

1.Outpatient Services

2. Intensive Outpatient Services

2.5. Halfway House

3. Inpatient Rehabilitation

4. Detox

What happens after an initial assessment?

Depending on level of care recommended, we’ll either report that we do not have a treatment recommendation for you, refer you to an inpatient or detox facility, or refer you to one of our services listed below.

Outpatient and Intensive Outpatient Programs

The lowest level of care we provide is our outpatient program. The outpatient program currently offers three types of groups:

Men and women trauma-informed groups
Relapse prevention groups
Living in balance groups

Outpatient clients attend one group a week and meet with a counselor at least every other week, and intensive outpatients attend three, three-hour sessions a week and meet with their counselor once a week.

All of our outpatient programs use evidence-based treatment models, so you can feel confident that we’re providing you with the best possible treatment options.

Halfway Houses

At The GateHouse, we have two halfway houses. Most halfway house residents have come from 30, 60, or 90-day inpatient treatment stays and must be referred by a professional. We also take referrals from State Correctional Institutions many now have their own drug and alcohol programs.

Getting an initial assessment doesn’t have to be a complicated process. We’re here to help you. The GateHouse is a county-contracted outpatient treatment provider, so we can provide you with no-cost assessments if you don’t have insurance. Reach out to us for more information!

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How to Recover from a Relapse

Going through a relapse can be crushing on the human spirit. Although we wish relapses wouldn’t occur, that’s unfortunately not always the case. Many people relapse after treatment, and while not ideal, you can find comfort in knowing you’re not alone and that there are plenty of ways to recover from a relapse and continue living a healthy life.

Come to Terms with the Guilt

Drug and alcohol relapses are often accompanied by shame, guilt, and an overwhelming sense of failure. When these emotions arise, know that they are completely normal and necessary to experience before you rebound from the relapse.

In order to come to terms with the guilt, you have to recognize the mistake and take responsibility for your actions. This doesn’t mean blaming yourself or others, it simply means recognizing what happened, owning the mistake, and working toward overcoming it. Dwelling on the relapse can make the guilt even worse, which could potentially send you in a downward spin and cause you to turn back to drugs or alcohol in order to cope.

Lean on Loved Ones for Support

Hopefully, you’ve found a supportive community either through treatment, or friends and family, in your daily life. After you’ve come to terms with the relapse and subsequent guilt, reach out to the people who have been there for you throughout your recovery. Be honest with them about the relapse and about what you think caused it. The people who love and support you will do their best to understand and talk through it with you. Find people you’re comfortable with and confide in them.

Consider Entering Treatment Again

Unfortunately, relapses are common in the world of addiction, but they do not have to prevent you from a long, healthy recovery. If you’re having trouble overcoming your relapse on your own, you may want to consider re-entering treatment again. Treatment allows you to process your addiction, come to terms with the relapse, discover what caused it, and teach you how to cope with the motivating factors. Treatment also places you in a safe, welcoming environment with a group of supportive people who are going through similar situations.

Look Forward to the Future

After you relapse, stay away from thinking this is an all or nothing situation. You’ve overcome your addiction before, and you can overcome it again. A relapse may be an unexpected setback, but you have a whole life ahead of you that you can enjoy in recovery. Accept that it happened, and then focus your energy on moving forward, strengthening your support network, and improving your coping skills to prevent another relapse in the future.

If you’ve recently relapsed and are interested in re-entering treatment, reach out to us today. We offer a wide variety of recovery options and would love to help you decide which one is best for your needs.

Jodi’s Story

To look at Jodi O’Reilly, the first thought that comes to mind is, Here’s someone who’s got it all together.

Attractive, intelligent, and charming, Jodi is the mother of two daughters, the executive director of one of Pennsylvania’s top recovery and behavioral health organizations, and a natural leader–with a sense of humor and an expressive gift for gab.

The Pittsburgh native will be the first to tell you, however, that it wasn’t always this way. Her life is good now, but it wasn’t easy getting there.

“Recovery has softened me around the edges,” she said recently. “When somebody meets me, or I go to my daughter’s PTA meeting or a parent-teacher conference, they can’t see that I was once a homeless person in North Philadelphia. What they can see is a human being just like them who’s showing up to try and help out or volunteer at their kid’s school. I believe if we take the time to understand and know others, we can lessen the ignorance and stigma that occurs about those who struggle with the disease of addiction.”

The Descent

The first time Jodi ever tried a narcotic, she was about 9 years old. Her grandmother and her mother gave her a Xanax when she was feeling sick. The memory is still vivid for her.

“I remember the exact moment I felt the elixir of the Xanax they gave me, and I knew that I wanted to feel that way for the rest of my life,” she said. “It was the first time I ever felt safe, free, and just OK to be me. But what that event reinforced in me was that it was never OK not to feel anything. So, at that age, I had the value instilled in me that you don’t ever want to feel–and that something outside yourself can make you feel better.”

From there, she began to descend into an addictive cycle that claims so many young lives today. She met a boy in high school and got pregnant. She married before she graduated, thinking that marriage would “fix” her. Drugs were always near at hand.

“My descent was over a 15-16 year window,” Jodi said. She said the substance abuse started in high school. “From the the first time I drank alcohol until my clean date, I used drugs and alcohol like it was my full-time job. I used until everything was gone.”

While Jodi’s story is unique, it’s all too common in a world where opioid abuse has become an epidemic.

“I think I started using heroin when I was about 14,” she said. “By the time I had my daughter at 18, I was homeless, living in a van with a newborn baby, and struggling just to get by. From there, I lost custody of my daughter, and rightfully so, and just lived a life on the streets. I just never wanted to not use.”

The Hustle

Before long, she was living on the hard streets of Philadelphia, always looking for more. Every day was the same. Physically addicted to opioids, Jodi said she would use heroin to feel normal and cocaine to get high.

“It was always about the hustle—just to get through the day and use all day long,” she said. “So many crazy things happen when you’re living that kind of lifestyle.

“At that time, I didn’t realize it, but after being clean and doing some work on myself, being able to look back, I mean—having guns pulled on you, getting arrested, being in the newspaper—they were all moments when I said this is not how I want to live my life, but not knowing how to change it. It was a constant hustle always just trying to keep your eyes open.”

One of the worst moments of her life came after her daughter’s father was killed.

“I disappeared for probably a year, and my daughter didn’t know where I was,” Jodi said. “I remember seeing her once after that. It was very brief. I remember trying to leave because I was sick, and I was just annoyed because I wanted to use. I remember her grabbing onto my leg as I was trying to walk down the steps, and in that moment, I literally wanted to punch her in her face. I just wanted to get away, because I hated the way that I was feeling. I remember pulling hard and like peeling her off my leg, and the people that were raising her taking her from me. I remember just getting out the front door and collapsing. It was such an empty moment of my life. I had become such an animal that even the sight of my wounded child made me rageful.”

And yet, she continued to use. There were moments, though, where reason would break through—moments between the horrors.

The Ray of Hope

The final moment came when Jodi was completely out of options. No longer welcome at most treatment facilities, she was facing a 5-year prison sentence after multiple offenses, when a ray of hope came in the form of the Bethesda Mission in Harrisburg, PA. While it would turn out to be the place that changed her life, her time there got off to a rocky start.

“Well, I came there late, so they almost didn’t admit me. I came there high, which I wasn’t supposed to do. But, being the ‘good’ addict that I was, I figured I needed one more hurrah,” she said. “I came there with open charges, so I knew that I was going back to prison, I just didn’t know when. My first three to four months were very difficult, because I didn’t know how to live. I broke every rule. I snuck out… the police brought me back.”

It was mayhem, Jodi said, but it was also progress. Despite the chaos, she wasn’t using drugs.

“What I understand now, is that I was doing all those things because I didn’t know how to do anything else,” she said. “The gift that the opportunity gave me was the freedom to make those mistakes and then have the opportunity to learn something different. There were consequences for my actions, but they allowed me to grow up. The mission workers loved me. They didn’t shame me.”

The turning point came on her birthday.

A Moment of Clarity

“I felt that I deserved to do what I wanted to do on my birthday,” she said, “but I was on restriction, because I had gotten in trouble before, so I wasn’t allowed phone calls, mail, anything. And I snuck out to meet a guy that I had known when I was using. His mom picked me up and we went to his apartment. He had just been released from prison. While we were there, he went into the bathroom, and when he came out, he had a loaded syringe of heroin.”

That’s when she had her first moment of clarity. She realized she was either going to do something different, or she was never going to emerge from the cycle of addiction.

“I somewhat did something different,” she said with a chuckle. “I didn’t use, but I got into a physical altercation with the guy and the police came and took me back to the mission. I remember sitting in the car with the cop and just thinking, ‘Why do I keep doing this to myself?’”

Jodi was convinced she was going back to jail when she got back to the mission.

“But something spiritually divine occurred,” she said. “When I got there, the executive director was waiting for me. She escorted me into a room and she didn’t say anything. I just started to cry. I just said that I was sorry, and I’ll pack my things and I appreciated the opportunity. She got up and she hugged me, and she said, ‘We don’t want you to leave. We just really want you to do something different. This is your one shot.’”

That did it. Things changed for Jodi after that ordeal. The year-long program turned into a three-year stay. By the end of her time at the mission, she was counseling other women and was attending college.

“But there came a time when it was time for me to go,” she said. “Not so much for myself, but it was time for me to go and be a mom.”

The Reclamation

Her reunion with her daughter was not easy. In fact, it was terrifying.

“The hardest part was getting a child that I had damaged and trying to not only take care of myself, but to take care of her,” she said. “After we got over the terror, it was exhilarating and empowering, and I knew then that I could do whatever I wanted to do with the rest of my life.”

She firmly believes that it was divine intervention that led her to her current role as executive director at The GateHouse.

“I started working in drug and alcohol, because it was the only field in which someone would hire me because of my criminal record,” Jodi said. “I had tried for a year to get a job in a lot of other different arenas. I had a nursing degree that was null and void because I was a felon and had drug charges and all that stuff. I tried to do a lot of different things and couldn’t, so I ended up in an in-patient facility as a house manager, and I fell in love with serving people, just like people had served me.”

Now with two daughters, one of whom has never seen her use, Jodi says she tries not to live too far into the future.

“I just want to keep being a good person,” she said. “I try to live my life by spiritual principles, and try to raise my children to be kind, spiritually-driven women. To not settle for less than they deserve. To know their worth and their value and to not seek it in others.”

If she had one pearl of wisdom she could provide it would be to “live for today.”

“A lot of us come from places where we think, ‘If I could just do this, and if I could just do that, and if I have this, or do that, then things will be better,'” Jodi said. “What I’ve really come to understand is that today is the best day I have and I need to pay that forward in everything that I do.”

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Staying Healthy in Recovery: Are there Alternatives to Drugs and Alcohol?

After entering recovery, one of the hardest things to do is fill the leftover space in your mind and in your daily life. Spending so much of your time using drugs or alcohol can leave you feeling bored and unsatisfied throughout recovery, and it can often lead to relapses and addictive behavior. This is why many people search for healthy alternatives, whether that’s adrenaline-inducing activities, exercise, meditation, or any number of other activities.

The alternatives to drugs and alcohol vary widely and ultimately depend on your interests and what you want to pursue. Finding a healthy alternative can be an excellent way to fill that void, but it’s also imperative that you keep a healthy mindset about whatever activity you choose. Here are some healthy activities you can use to fill the new space in your life.

Meditation

Meditation is an excellent way to calm your mind, reflect on your life, and set goals for yourself. Even five to ten minutes in the morning spent focusing on your breathing, setting your daily intentions, and deciding what you want to accomplish can make a huge impact on the whole day.

Recovery is often accompanied by stress and anxiety. Taking time out of your day to focus only on yourself will help you tremendously. Meditation can give you new perspectives on stressful situations, help you cope, increase your patience, and calm your mind and body down. Another benefit of meditation as an alternative to drugs and alcohol is that it’s very difficult to overdo. However, if you find yourself meditating for hours a day or find that it’s interfering with your daily life in a negative way, talk to someone you trust, recognize the issue, and slowly cut back.

Adrenaline-Inducing Activities

Picking up a new, thrilling, and safe sport can be a great way to keep you occupied and excited about what you’re doing and help keep your body active. Here are some sports you could try to occupy your time.

Skiing
Whitewater rafting
Skydiving
Mountain Climbing

Seeking thrills through sports is a great way to stay on your feet and mix up your daily routine. Of course, there are a lot of extreme sports that are incredibly dangerous. Make sure you know your limits, always use the proper equipment, and learn the correct techniques from qualified instructors before trying anything new.

Working Out

Similar to meditation and sports, exercise allows you to fuel your body and calm your mind. It’s a great way to pass the time, increase your endorphins, and focus on your body and how much it does for you. The mental health benefits of regular exercise are incredible, and can include:

A reduction in depression
A reduction in anxiety
A reduction in stress
Increased focus

Of course, like anything, exercise can become problematic if you overdo it. Make sure you’re eating enough to sustain your workouts and talk to someone if you feel like you may be overexerting your body.

These three alternatives are great ways to fill any voids you may be experiencing in recovery, but, as with most things, too much is a bad thing. If you feel as though these activities, or any other activities, are taking up too much of your time or are having a negative impact on your life, talk to someone and get the help you need.

If you or a loved one are struggling with addiction, reach out to us today. We offer a wide variety of residential and outpatient treatment programs to help aid you throughout your recovery journey.